stormless eyes & starglazed skies
Style
I am *perhaps* not the best person to review this diary, as it is filled
with metaphors and goth-type ramblings on and on. Very poetic, though, and
well written.
I like the design, you credit the designer, so they can get their day in the
sun. The page is very simple and pleasing to the eye, with a dark tone that
suits you.
The links are well organized (though that first row, all run together, might
conceivably confuse my grandma), and while there is a (gasp) "donate" link,
it's not on the main entry page, so I'll let that go.
And...minimalist is ok by me, but apparently the no-caps is annoying to a
lot of people. I don't mind it, but Ms. Lovejoy, that evil bitch, made me
mention it. [Mwaahaha!-JL]
Substance
Gleaning actual facts about the writer takes a little work, but it can be
done without resorting to the bio page. There is a line between (a) just
boringly listing what you did today and (b) frothing generalities and
feelings. You are well over on the "frothy" side of it.
I have a sense that you really do want to be honest in this diary, but all
the baroque verbiage prevents that from happening.
Even if, as many diarists say, this diary is just for yourself (though if
that were the case, why would you apply for a review?), you should know that
eventually you'll probably want to look back at it and understand what you
were going through. When that happens, it'll help a lot if you refer more
directly to the events that made you feel this way.
Because otherwise you may not remember what it was you were writing about.
Suggestions
Resolve to write at least one sentence in each entry that describes
something that happened in a concrete and literal way. Keep writing, be it
here or elsewhere, because you've got talent.
B
That's an B+ for style and a B- for substance.
