oh lord regan

Style
The first thing I noticed about your page was the freakin� huge polarized Jesus staring at me! It triggered some resident Catholic guilt, so I went hunting for an explanation of why he was there and found this. In your explanation you say that there is a joke about the Jesus picture and that we, your readers, would never understand. Please, share the joke! Otherwise you just leave me wondering why a Buddhist has Jesus on her diaryland page and it ends up being a huge disappointment.

I see that you credit Linsay Designs for your page. It�s an decent layout, but please consider the following: The blue and white colors are ok, but darken up the blue a little. It tends to fade into the background and makes your links hard to see. Speaking of which, your font is just way too little. My poor 1800x1200 desktop just can�t handle that stuff� but even at 1024x768 I had a hard time reading your entries. Otherwise I like how the layout is structured, with one scrollbar and the page moving around the creepy Jesus. Also you have the obligatory links that offer a lot of goodies, and they are easy to find on the page. Yay! Oh yeah, your page has a link that converts it into French. This is cool, although I�m not literate in French. But I wonder on its accuracy since it filters through Babelfish. Makes me want to do the same thing to my page but in Latin�

Substance
I can�t really say much about your number of entries, because I only have about 60+ at my site, but at 40+ I was hoping to get to know you a little better than I did. But I will be gentle because you�re obviously new to the blogging experience. First off, let�s talk about grammar a little bit. You do a decent job in spelling and structure, but once in a while I did find some misspelled words and run on sentences. They weren�t as distracting as your use of Ebonics, though. While Ebonics can be beautiful in poetry and prose, you just seem to throw it around once in a while, and it gives the impression of laziness rather than style.

And speaking of style, like I noted before, after reading through every one of your entries I still feel is if I know nothing about you. I know you�re Buddhist, but you don�t give me any details about what that means to you. I know you attend high school in Canada, but it feels like a cardboard cutout rather than a real place. Fortunately you give me an entry like this which is an example of your writing potential. You mention your first day of school, and hit on a few key points about your friends, feelings, and your brother. Now, expand! This was one of the first entries that made me feel as if you were opening up�

This rant about your father was perhaps the best entry you have. It has emotion, information, and most of all you give your opinion and expand upon it. For a brief moment you came out of your shell and wrote an entry that meant something. Use it as a stepping stone to keep getting better from there.

Suggestions
Unfortunately because there are so few entries with meat in them, I really can�t expound more on the substance of your page. You�ve had a sluggish start, but show the signs of potential, so stick with it! Your spelling and run-on sentences can be corrected in about 30 seconds by running your entries through a word processor like Word or Works before posting. And try to cut out your use of Ebonics, since it looks lazy. For the most part just expand on your thoughts. Don�t be afraid of writing too much at this point. Let your readers know what you think and why you think that way. I was very intrigued to find out you were Buddhist, so spill the beans! I want to read your views on philosophy, art, dance (since I know you belly-dance) and politics. Don�t be afraid of getting a little steamy, either. (think TNN, not Cinemax) These are the things that will attract readers.

C-
I think you have potential! Just follow some of my suggestions to make it shine, then come back for a re-grading in the future. Don�t give up hope!

Justin