If every memory, was worth a thousand words...
Style
Sometimes people on the web get confused. This confusion takes many forms, and it has many causes. It is, however, always confusion. Here, in Break The Dark, we have an author confused over the weight she should give to images versus words. As such, the unsuspecting reader is pummeled with an image reproduction that takes over at least half the screen on my nice sized monitor. (And, an image for which I could find no credit nor copyright info.) I came to this journal for the words, but my senses are promptly assaulted with a mishmash of visual imagery. My instinct is to flee, but I persist.
Having persisted, I fall down the worst well of textual style I can imagine. All the text of the entries is center justified. Yes, here in this journal everything appears just like a greeting card. Sentences ripple outward and my eye is left struggling to find an anchor point. No matter the value of the words, this visual motif does not work. It is confusing, visually tiring, and just unrelentingly oppressive.
For style, the grade is C-. There is potential here, but the author needs to think about the balance between words and images.
Substance
Words are clearly the strong point of this journal, and the author has many gifts to share. All of her language is rooted in a poetic style, yet moves freely and easily into a narrative stance when appropriate.
Every entry, from the most mundane events on a bus to the most pressing events of the human heart are captured as gentle free verse. The author has feelings and she is not afraid to show them. In fact, some of her entries touch on subjects that are extremely dark and scary. I am never certain how much of what is written is reality and how much is just a step removed from reality. If this is truly reality, I feel deeply for the author. She has suffered as no one should suffer and deserves every opportunity to speak her peace. I applaud her for confronting the past.
This is an interesting aspect of this journal � knowing where the line between reality and non-reality is drawn. As I read through the entries they seeped into me like cough syrup, slowly dulling my senses and leaving me mute. This is a joy, when in the right frame of mind. This is a burden when not.
The author has vision and she has important things to share. I recommend this journal as a place to visit occasionally for a bracing helping of the darker side. Her words are good and true and warrant a B+.
Suggestions
My suggestions are brief. Focus on the beauty of your words and allow them to shine. This means toning down the overwhelming graphics and using left justified text. If you want to use white text on a black background, make the font one step bigger (or use yellow text on black, which is more easily readable at smaller font sizes). Help your reader find the majesty of your words and thoughts instead of distracting them with needless visually gimmickry.
B
There is great potential here.
