My soul is like a rose.. growing everyday and anticipating the wait
Style
The entries have various lengths which is I feel is a good thing. The rose picture is huge and moves when you change the window size, something that I personally find annoying. The scrollable entry window inside of a scrollable window is a common situation and it works, it seems to make the entries read faster, which made me feel like a reader of the highest level. The template and layout is rich in simplicity, not a bad comment, though it puts a lot of weight on the substance which is next. The links work and lead to stuff which might be more interesting if I knew Darceek, which I don't so they didn't interest me. The picture of the flower was something of interest to me because I think of Georga O'Keefe paintings and wonder, just wonder. Actually I think that it looks like female genitalia, does Darceek think this as well, no. I understand the idea that Darceek's life might be like a rose, but does she need to emphasize the point by having a massive picture? The picture itself is beautiful and has such fantastic resolution that it seems dreamy. From a person with such interesting thoughts why would they go with the obvious pink rose? I think, and it is just a thought, that a picture of an apple would be just as good because phylogenetically speaking an apple is a rose. There were many spelling errors, so many that I don't even want to try and name them all, the one I will say is that "wan't" is incorrect unless you are going for a vernacular sound, which would be somewhat original, otherwise it is spelled "want". Grade: C, overall it is a common layout with a good use of space, fix up that spelling.
Substance
Darceek is a young girl growing up, having problems with: her grandparents, her mother's recovery, her relationship with God, the sudden attraction guys have to her, and her own feelings. Starting from the very beginning we meet Darceek the depressed loner, she changes to Darceek the faithful and reinvigorated, soon she changes to Darceek the sexual explorer, and she ends up being Darceek the heartbroken, to end it she is Darceek the girl that all the guys seem to like. There are two major topics, the two topics everyone has at her age: what do you believe and love. She believes in God, in fact the big G changed her life. She has many interactions with guys, much liking is happening, but since her break up with her first love, she is hesitant to love again. Many times she feels conflicted between the attention she showers on her fellow mortal plain inhabitants and the lack of attention she is giving God. These thoughts and entries were the best of the best, but they always broke off with out showing any resolve, like the problem is still there, thought about but unanswered. I could not connect with her on the problems of being labeled a slut, but I knew of people who had these problems, this helped to clarify the feelings these people had. There is a big flavoring of Christ in this, though after she gets to high school God takes a back seat to those of the testosterone persuasion.
Darceek writes a little poetry, which I think is a nice hobby if it has something more to it than just feelings. When the world fell in love with free verse Shakespeare wept tears of blood in his grave. So my thought is that if someone is going to put a poem on screen or any medium a little iambic pentameter or a fucking sonnet would really tickle me, it might also greatly improve the poet. There are people out there who would say " My feelings are too powerful to be contained in terza rima" or "My raw emotion demands that I express it without any editing or structure, let alone iambic pentameter." This might be true, but give it a try and then shit on my face.
Towards her most recent entry there were an awful lot of surveys, which I feel are fine as long as they are few and far between. These, though, were like six in row and they were all long, asking many of the same questions.
Grade: B-, not captivating, but definitely not boring, the surveys and my personal dislike of free verse brought it down.
Suggestions
Fill out shorter surveys and give time between surveys. What happened to God, tell us about what he means to you as you change from the person who needed it to the popular person with less than a need for him. The setup is fine so don't worry about changing it too much. Fix the spelling.
C+
Continue on as you have, you are definitely getting better.
